Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
