Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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