My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
babies were throwing up all over the place
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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