Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize