Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
only if we run a train.
done.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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