We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
