Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person

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(208): View more from Idaho

On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?

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(251): View more from Alabama

The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!

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(310): View more from California

So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.

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(845): View more from New York

Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.

(1-704): View more from North Carolina

im still drunk. birthday week begins.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again

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(804): View more from Virginia

Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive

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(863): View more from Florida

I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man

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