I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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