Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
