Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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