this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
