no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
