it was like his penis was on wheels.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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