you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
