i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
