if only i could text you this smell
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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