i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
