I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
