yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
