Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
