If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
