come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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