I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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