Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
