dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
