Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She's just so happy...and so naked.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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