she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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