So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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