Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
