I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
