You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
