My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
