Whod you bang
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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