You're so nebulous sometimes
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
