SEEEEXXX PLEASE
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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