I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize