Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize