she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
