Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize