I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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