wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
