She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
