I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
