I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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