They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
