I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
