Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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