after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
