Barsexuality is the new black.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
