Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
