i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize