Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
