I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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