All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
