I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
