I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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