Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
