why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
