drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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