"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
