i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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