Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
