what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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