i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
