i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
