"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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