I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
